This month, we’re giving graduate job-seekers help with their job hunt.

Today, we’ve decided to give you some tips on what NOT to do (not that we think you’d do some of these things anyway!). You won’t believe some of the things candidates said in their job interview.

Why did you leave your last job?
“I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes.”

Why are you looking for a job?
“Cigarettes are getting more expensive, so I need another job.”

Why do you want to work for us?
“I saw the job posted on Twitter and thought, why not?”

What are your assets?
“Well, I do own a bike.”

What are your weaknesses?
“I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won’t get mad at you.”

Is there anything else I should know about you?
“You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends.”

Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it
“I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.”

Have you submitted your two weeks’ notice to your current employer?
“What is two weeks’ notice? I’ve never quit a job before, I’ve always been fired.”

Question you shouldn’t ask during your interview…
“When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?”

Things that certainly grab attention in your CV – perhaps for the wrong reasons
Under interests, listing ducks and cats.
List medium (i.e. talking to the dead) as your weekend job.
Say that you specialise in Eastern mystic S&M (!)

And on that bombshell, we should leave it there…!

Great to have a laugh at, but can you imagine these things actually being said?

What we’re getting at is that it’s a good idea to think about some of the questions that you might be asked, and prepare some answers. You don’t need to rehearse, and you don’t want to sound rehearsed, but by thinking about your weaknesses, strengths, reasons for wanting the job and questions you might like to ask, you’ll be one step ahead.